Retail Jobs Suck

As I was with Patrice, walking around the mall, we went into a store by the name of Ambercrombie. The moment I walked in I was suffocated by the potent, reeking smell of their signature cologne.

They may as well have mixed ammonia and bleach into a bowl, and left it in the center of the store.

Anyways. As I was holding my breath, walking through the store I was approached by a young, clean shaved, black male. He asked both me, and Patrice if we wanted a job. As soon as he asked, all I could think was, "Hell no..I'll never work a retail job again."

We told him no, and kept it pushing.

The point of me telling you all of this, is too inform all of you why retail jobs, especially in the Hollister company, are horrible jobs.

Let's say that you're fresh out of high school. You're looking for a job, and everyone tells you that Ambercrombie will hire anyone. So you're like, "fuck yea!"

So you go into the store, hold your breath to avoid the ammonia and bleach in the air, and then you speak to a manager.

She tells you that interviews are every Tuesday at 4. You're ecstatic to hear that, so you come and tell me that you have an interview coming up, and that you just know you're getting the job.

This is when I burst your bubble.

I begin to go down the list of reasons NEVER to work a job like that.

1. You're going to be standing for about 4 hours straight. While you're standing at the front door, you're not allowed to use your phone or your ipod. And you can't lean on the conveniently placed wall right behind you.

so by now you already hate your life

2. Once you get the job.. you will probably start off with no more than 2, maybe 3 shifts a week, getting paid 8.50/hr. At first, you might be ok with minimal working. But once you have bills to pay... you're going to need to work as much as possible...

3. Not only will you hate the way your store smells... but when you leave... you're going to smell just like it. Everyone you walk by will know exactly where you work, because the stench has seeped into the threading of your white V-Neck, or your sandals that they make you wear, or maybe even your chucks. This makes you hate the smell even more, because you have to smell it all day, until you shower.

4. Minimum wage already sucks as it is. And 2 shifts a week makes it even worse.. but to top it off.. they take taxes out. In the long run that makes filing taxes easier, but when you need your money.. you need your money. And that bullshit $89.37 check ain't gonna do much for you.

5. Lets say you walk into the store for the first time. You hear the music they have playing in the background, and you like it... now imagine hearing the same 13 songs on repeat.. every shift, every hour, every day... while you're standing still, not leaning against the wall.. not on your phone.. every... day...

6. These corporation retail stores are so hell bent on every one of their stores being exactly the same, that they don't even let you talk normally. They give you catch phrases that you must say to EVERY customer that walks by you. Such as, "Hey, whats up?" "Hi, how's it goin?" or the one that Patrice and I heard the other day, "Our jeans can make you look like a star". Who the fuck says shit like that?

The list goes on.. but that's an idea of why retail jobs suck.

As with everything, with cons come pros. So these are the things I would tell you about retail jobs that aren't horrible.

1. Discounts

2. You get first dibs on new clothes

3. If you're a kleptomaniac you can scope out the cameras and plan your theft accordingly

4. You will work around attractive people

So now that I've told you all of these things, you're not excited at all to get the job, but you already told your parents you were going to be responsible, and keep the job. FYourL